Surrounded by Idiots

QHB's 10 Points of Focus and Summaries

Surrounded by Idiots 10 Points:

1. Understanding People Is Crucial: Success in any organization or life endeavor relies heavily on understanding people and their behavior, making it one of the most critical forms of knowledge.

2. DISC Behavioral Types: Human behavior can be categorized into four main types using the DISC model: Dominance (Red), Influence (Yellow), Stability (Green), and Compliance (Blue).

3. Effective Communication: Communication is most effective when tailored to the listener's preferences. Flexibility and the ability to interpret others' needs are key traits of good communicators.

4. Behavioral Strengths and Weaknesses: Each behavioral type has strengths and weaknesses. For example, Reds are quick decision-makers but may disregard details, while Blues are thorough but can be overly critical.

5. Adapting to Different Types: To interact effectively with others, it's essential to adapt your behavior to match theirs. This includes adjusting communication styles and approaches based on the individual's dominant behavioral type.

6. Group Dynamics: The best-performing groups are diverse, combining different behavioral types. Each type contributes uniquely, with Reds driving decisions, Yellows inspiring ideas, Greens providing stability, and Blues ensuring quality.

7. Feedback Techniques: Giving feedback effectively requires understanding the recipient's behavioral type. Reds prefer direct criticism, Yellows need a gentle approach, Greens require clear but soft communication, and Blues expect detailed, fact-based feedback.

8. Stress Factors: Different behavioral types experience stress from different triggers. Reds are stressed by lack of control, Yellows by excessive structure, Greens by insecurity, and Blues by uncertainty and emotional situations.

9. Body Language Matters: Non-verbal cues like posture, eye contact, and gestures vary across behavioral types and are essential in communicating confidence, authority, and intent.

10. Self-Awareness and Adaptation: Being self-aware and understanding others' behavior types allow for better adaptation in communication and interaction, ultimately leading to more effective relationships both personally and professionally.

QHB's Selected Book Quotes and Summaries

*** TE = Thomas Erikson (The Author)

=== Foreword ===

# “The most important lesson that you can walk away with is that the idiots who surround you are, in fact, not idiots at all.” - David Bonnstetter

=== Introduction: The Man Who Was Surrounded by Idiots ===

# “He didn’t understand the most critical, complicated resource in an organization- the employees.” - TE

# “I decided to learn what is probably the most important knowledge of all - How people function. I would be encountering people for the rest of my life, no matter what my profession was, and it was easy to see that I would benefit by being able to understand them.” - TE

# “Perhaps the world’s most widely used method to describe the difference in human communication. This method is called the DISC - an acronym that stands for Dominance, Influence, Stability and Compliance.” - TE

=== Chapter 1: Communication Happens on the Listener’s Terms ===

# “By adjusting yourself to how other people want to be treated, you become more effective in your communication.” - TE

# “Flexibility and the ability to interpret other people’s need is what characterizes a good communicator.” - TE

# “Behaviour patterns are like a toolbox. … Depending on the occasion, a tool can sometimes be right and sometimes be wrong. A thirty-pound sledgehammer is great for tearing down walls, but its hardly the thing if you want to hang a picture in the foyer.” - TE

=== Chapter 2: Why are we the way we are? ===

# “Both my core values and my attitudes affect how I choose my behaviour. Together they form my core behavior, the real person I want to be.” - TE

# “The greater your self understanding is, the greater your probability of adapting to the people around you.” - TE

=== Chapter 3: An Introduction to the System ===

# “There are four main categories of behavior types … Analytical (Blue), Dominant (Red), Stable (Green) and Inspiring (Yellow) …” - TE

# “About 80 percent of all people have a combination of two color that dominate their behavior. Approximately 5 percent have only one color that dominates behavior. The others are dominated by three colors.” - TE

=== Chapter 4 Red Behavior: How to recognize a Real Alpha and Avoid Getting in his Way ===

# “A red person is a dynamic and driven individual. He has goals in life that others may find it difficult to even imagine.” - TE

# “A common remark is that Reds are very honest, because they dare to express their personal truths to people.” - TE

# “ “Quick” is synonymous with “good” for Reds. … Because Reds are quick thinkers, they move on long before everyone else.” - TE

# “ A Red can, in fact, be quite unassuming. … The reason is simple: A red usually doesn't care what others think.” - TE

# “Red’s aren't afraid to make decisions. When everyone else hesitates, thinking and weighing the risks, a Red makes the controversial decision.” - TE

=== Chapter 5 Yellow Behavior: How to Recognize Someone Whose Head is in the Clouds and get him back to Reality again ===

# “Recognizing a Yellow is easy. He’s the one who’s talking all the time. … Yellow can talk to anyone. They are not at all shy, perceiving most people they meet as pleasant.” - TE

# “Since yellow individuals are so positive and cheerful, they spread joy and warmth to those around them.” - TE

# “The very definition of yellow behavior revolves around their ability to understand relationships.” - TE

=== Chapter 6 Green Behavior: Why Change is So Difficult and How to get around it ===

# “Green people are kindness personified. You can expect a helping need whenever you need it.” - TE

# “It is often said that Greens are the best listeners, and this is true. A green will always be more interested in you than in himself.” - TE

# “A green wants to stay on good terms with everyone, so he’ll even help people he doesn't really like that much.” - TE

# “Greens hear what you’re actually saying. They have a genuine ear for human problems.” - TE

# “How did she do it? by doing nothing at all except for one thing - listening. He signed before the food was even served.” - TE

=== Chapter 7 Blue Behavior: In Pursuit of Perfection ===

# “Blue doesn't know everything; no one can. But you can usually bank on the fact that what he says is correct.” - TE

# “Its a fact that for the blue, the trip is more important than the destination, exactly opposite of a Red.” - TE

# “A blue is prepared to deep dive to get everything exactly 100% correct.” - TE

# “Logical and rational thinking is critical to a Blue.” - TE

# “Many blues that I've met don't say a single word unnecessarily.” - TE

# “In general, my advice is to listen attentively when Blues do actually talk, because they've usually thought through what they say.” - TE

=== Chapter 8 No One is Perfect: Strengths and Weaknesses ===

# “While two of them (Red and Yellow) are quick to act, the Greens and Blues are reflective.” - TE

# My goal here isn't to define what's right or wrong; I only want to establish that all of us are different.” - TE

# “Reds are notorious rule breakers. Once again, I would like to remind you of their intentions - to get the job done.” - TE

# “A little tip: the worst thing you can do once you get into a conflict with a Red is back off.” - TE

# “Red means fast; Blue means high quality in implementation.” - TE

# “Yellow are very good communicators. With an emphasis on “Very.” None of the other colors come close to the yellow’s ease in finding words, expressing themselves and telling a story.” - TE

# “Very often a Yellow is both entertaining and inspiring, and as I said, they can inspire people

Into new ideas.” - TE

# “If a Yellow is anything, it’s a bad listener. They’re really miserable at it, in point of fact.” - TE

# “Others can perceive a green as dishonest even though their intention is only to avoid conflict.” - TE

# “For a Green, it’s better to be safe than sorry. By expressing himself ambiguously, he avoids taking responsibility for the matter in question.” - TE

# “What do Greens do? absolutely nothing. They just lean in their chairs and let themselves absorb the proposal.” - TE

# “Many blues are perceived as highly critical and almost suspicious. They miss nothing, and they have a tendency to deliver their observations in an insensitive fashion.” - TE

# “Blues want to have all the information n everything, and this can lead to problems with those around them. … A Blue believe that good enough is never really good enough.” - TE

# “A Blue doesn’t need small talk. He can easily give the impression that he doesn’t care about other people … Sure he cares, but his needs are on a different level than everyone else’s.” - TE

=== Chapter 9 Learning New Things: How to use What you’ve Learned ===

# “Life consists so much more than learning from your mistakes. Some mistakes you can avoid all together.” - TE

# “You need to practice. It’s a perishable commodity. There are no shortcuts.” - TE

=== Chapter 10 Body Language: Why How You Move Matters: How do you really look? ===

# “You have a relaxed, natural but not slack posture, other people often get the impression that you are self-confidence.” - TE

# “Shifty eyes generally suggest that the person in question rather be somewhere else.” - TE

# “When we listen carefully to a discussion, we can lean our heads to one side.” - TE

# “A simple handshake can reveal a lot about a person. … If a handshake is firm it probably suggests that a person is determined.” - TE

# “Holding your hands clasper behind your back often expresses power and security.” - TE

# “Some basics to keep in mind about Reds. They: keep their distances from others, have powerful handshakes, lean forward aggressively, use direct eye contact and use controlling gestures.” - TE

# “No matter what’s happening behind the façade, Reds will sound convincing. No stammer, no hesitation. Finger on the trigger.” - TE

# Some simple basics to keep in mind about Yellow. They: are Tactile, are relaxed, show friendly eye contact, use expressive gestures and often come close.” - TE

# “with Yellow there will be jokes all around and countless smiles. Eye contact is no problem: it’s intense, cheerful and friendly.” - TE

# “Some simple basics to keep in mind about Greens. They: are relaxed and come close, act methodology, tend to lean backwards, use very friendly eye contact and prefer small-scale gestures.” - TE

# “Greens make discretion a point of honor. It’s not uncommon that they try to make themselves invisible. The reason? They don’t want to be the center of attention.” - TE

# “Some simple basics to keep in mind about Blues. They: prefer to keep others at a distance, either stand or sit, often have closed body language, use direct eye contact and speaks without gestures.” - TE

# “Blue’s voice is restrained and subdued. … The impressions tend to be controlled. It’s common for them to sound very pensive, as if weighing every word before its allowed to see the light of day.” - TE

=== Chapter 11 A Real Life Example: The Company Party - How to understand Everyone You Meet ===

# “The Yellow told their latest jokes, and the Blue guy did not say a word. The Red boss glowered at everyone, and the Greens just stared at the wall when he showed up. Order was restored.” - TE

=== Chapter 12 Adaptation: How to Handle Idiots (i.e., Everyone Who Isn't Like you) ===

# “You have to adapt to the people you meet. Good communication is often a matter of adapting to others. … We all adapt to one another all the time. It’s part of the social game, the visible and invisible communication that is constantly in progress.” - TE

# “Adapting to Red Behavior: If you want to adapt to a Red’s tempo - Hurry up! Speed up! Speak and act more quickly. … Cut the small talk, its vital that you’re clear and straightforward. … Stick to the topic! The easiest way is to prepare your case very precisely before going into a meeting with Red. … Deliver your opinion without blinking. In the end, you might have to concede, but never sell short of yourself. … Show that you work hard.” - TE

# “How to behave when you meet a Red: Reds dislike getting into details. … Point out the risks involved in hurrying too much. … Reds calculate risks by constantly looking at the facts. … Reds may not understand that others are avoiding them because they would rather avoid conflict … You should confront his behavior immediately. “ - TE

# “Adapting to a Yellow Behavior: A Yellow functions best when he is happy and content … If you want to keep a Yellow’s attention, strip away as much of the minutes as you possibly can. … Just accept that a Yellow feels his way. … Allow a Yellow to devote himself to the latest thing. … Become approachable.” - TE

# How to behave when you meet a Yellow: When you’re dealing with Yellows, you need a plan of action. … Coordinate all appointments properly with Yellows. … Create a structure for him as Yellows are the ones who are most in need of structure in the form of diagrams and checklist. … You can never allow Yellows to consume all the oxygen. … Push him, but push gently. …. you need to be persistent.” - TE

# “Adapting to Green Behavior: Help your Green friend to face his fear of the unknown. … allow the Green his periods of peace, quiet and inactivity. … Greens aren’t world champions at taking their own initiative.” - TE

# “How to behave when you meet a Green: Don’t ask him what he can do about the behavior, just ask him to do certain specific things. …. If you want Greens to accept change, you’ll have to equip yourself with a good dollop of patience. … If you want to make headway with a large group of Greens, you have to take command, get a firm hold on the steering wheel and in some cases, simply get into the driver’s seat yourself.” - TE

# “Adapting to Blue Behavior: Make sure you can show that you’ve done your homework and are well prepared. … Stick to the Task. … Stick to the facts and be clear. … Give him all the details he needed in order to move on. … Avoid criticizing Blues for taking too much time or fussing over details that maybe unnecessary.” - TE

# “How to Behave when you meet a Blue: Remind him that other people have feelings. Give him valid reasons he should go against his instincts. … Help him to calculate risk but also to move on. … Provide the decision maker with the necessary data required for him to make a decision … Push him to make a choice.” - TE

# “The basic rule is to meet a Red with Red behavior, Yellow with yellow, Green with Green and finally Blue with Blue.” - TE

=== Chapter 13 How to Deliver Really Bad News: The Challenge of Speaking Your Mind ===

# “How to give Feedback to a Red - If you Dare: When you’re conveying a criticism to a Red, the simplest way to do is to avoid any form of decorative wrapping. … A Red is not that interested in the feelings of others or what people think. … The Red’s natural instinct to win any given situation will then takeover completely. … Prepare yourself extremely well and try not to give negative feedback to a Red.” - TE

# “How to give Feedback to a Yellow - If you have the Patience: Criticizing a Yellow is difficult because they take things personally. … Despite their flexibility and creativity, Yellows are actually the most difficult to change. “ - TE

# “How to give Feedback to a Green - Do Think Twice Before You Do: Criticizing a Green can be cruel. … Green actually listens, which both previous colors (Red & Yellow) did not. … You need to convey your message in the right way, clearly but softly. … Negative feedback will damage your relationship with the person. But you can easily solve this by quickly coming back to the person with good news and positive feedback. … Stand up and deliver the negative feedback - even to the friendly Greens in your life.” - TE

# “How to Give Feedback to a Blue - But First, Just a Word of Warning: Make sure you know what you’re talking about. Let me remind you that Blue know exactly what he’s done and he has a far better eye for details than you do. … If you want to get through to a Blue, you need to stick to concrete facts. … Its difficult to criticize a perfectionist, he already knows the best method and he wont change his opinion, so its all about doing your homework very well.” - TE

=== Chapter 14 Who Gets Along and Why it Works: Group Dynamics at Their Finest ===

# “A group should consist of all colors to create the best possible dynamic … The Yellow comes up with a new Idea, the Red makes the decision, the Green has to do all the work and Blue evaluates and make sure the results are excellent” - TE

# “Blue and Green could be a suitable combination, without much effort from either of them. … Since both are introverts, each of them feels secure with each other. ….Similarly Red and Yellow work smoothly together, since they both want to shoot from the hip and always move forward.”’- TE

# “Blues and Reds are Task oriented. … Green will allow the Yellow to take as much space as he wants.” - TE

# “Blue: Analytical. Red: Dominant. Green: Stable. Yellow: Inspiring.”’- TE

# “A Red likes giving orders, and a Green is usually okay with recieving orders. … the greatest challenge of all is to ask a Yellow and a Blue to work together.” - TE

# “Self awareness, my friend, is the solution.” - TE

# “Two color combinations normally follow any of the taxes. So they are Blue/Red, Red/Yellow, Yellow/Green or Green/Blue.” - TE

# “The best advice I can give you if you really can’t analyze the person you meet is to shut your mouth and start listening. Simply act Green if you are unsure.” - TE

=== Chapter 15 Written Communication: How to evaluate someone when you can’t meet in Person ===

# “Very often it’s possible to detect a color in the written word. If you’re a person of few words in speech, you can also be the same in your writing and vice versa.” - TE

=== Chapter 16 What Makes Us Mad as Hell?: Temperament can reveal everything about a person ===

# “A Red can rarely manage to be angry for long. He blurts out what he wants to say, and then moves on.” - TE

# “Because Yellows are very expressive and emotional at the same time, … Genuine Yellows can let their egos get in the way most of the time.” - TE

# “Greens don’t release any anger or frustration but control their emotions so as not to create trouble or stand out. … Many Greens function like that. They receive and accept without it objecting. This is very much connected to their desire to avoid conflict but also their inability to say no.” - TE

# “Blues simply have less need to communicate …. A Blue’s dissatisfaction comes out in the form of tiny grumblings.” - TE

=== Chapter 17 Stress Factors and Energy Thieves: What is Stress? ===

# “Pressure, demands and expectations create stress and can make you feel self critical and powerless.” - TE

# “Stress Factors for Reds: Take every form of authority away …. Achieve no results whatsoever…. Eliminate any kind of challenge … waste time and resources… make sure that everything becomes a routine … make a bunch of stupid mistakes… give him no control over others…. Tell him regularly to cool down. “ - TE

# “Stress Factors for Yellows: Pretend he’s invisible … become very skeptical …. Structure work as much as possible … isolate him from the rest of the group … make it clear that it’s inappropriate to joke at work … push a yellow to think carefully …. Continuously squabble … try a little public humiliation.” - TE

# “Stress factors for Greens: Take every form of security away from him … leave lots of loose ends …. Hang around him constantly… make lightning fast changes … Ask him “would you be so good as to redo the whole thing? …. tell a green “Look here! We can’t agree on absolutely everything… Push him into the spotlight.” - TE

# “Stress factors for Blues: tell him “you don’t know what you’re talking About …. Have management team makes a spontaneous decision … tell him this could be risky or uncertain, but we’re going to go ahead … Surprise him with something laws “Your in-laws are coming over” … Say What happened here? … tell him Let’s innovate! … remind him we simply need to take bigger risks … surround him with overly emotional people.” - TE

# “A Red becomes even tougher and more Aggressive towards those around him, a Yellow becomes more sulky and unstructured, A Green becomes even more passive and non committal than usual, and a blue can become completely closed.” - TE

=== Chapter 16 A Short Reflection through History: People have always been like this ===

# “The four letters D, I, S, and C (Dominance, Influence, Stability and Compliance) form the acronym of the DISC profile that is used throughout the world.” - TE

=== Chapter 19 Voices from Real Life ===

# “Sitting and thinking about things leads nowhere. It makes no difference how great your plans are if you don’t get off your butt and carry them out.” - Helena

# “It’s not how much you know or how clever you are, but what you actually do. And I have always been good at that. Doing things.” - Helena

=== Chapter 20 A Quick Little Quiz to See What You’ve Learned ===

# “At work, you can’t always choose the people you’ll work with… In the professional world, you have to play a good game with the cards that you have.” - TE

=== Chapter 21 A Final Example from Everyday Life: Perhaps the Most Enlightening Team Project in the History of the World ===

# “The purpose of the whole exercise was to highlight that no group should be composed solely of the individuals of the same type. Diversity is the only possible route. The best way to put a group of people together is by mixing different types of people. This is the only way to achieve decent dynamics in any group.” - TE

=== END OF BOOK ===