How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job

QHB's 10 Points of Focus and Summaries

How to enjoy your Life and your Job 10 Points:

1. Dale Carnegie’s Rules from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living: Do not imitate others. Apply good working habits. Learn to relax at your work. Put Enthusiasm at your work. Count your blessings and not your troubles. Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. Do the very best that you can.

2. Dale Carnegie’s Rules from How to Win Friends and Influence People: Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation. Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want. Become genuinely interested in the other people. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely. Begin in a friendly way. Get the other persons saying "Yes, Yes" immediately. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. Appeal to the nobler motives. Call attention to people's mistake indirectly. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Let the other person save face.

3. Embrace your individuality: The book emphasizes authenticity over people-pleasing. Be yourself in all aspects of life, and success will follow when you play to your own strengths and interests.

4. Develop a stress-fighting routine: The book suggests good work habits like prioritizing tasks and maintaining a clutter-free workspace to improve focus and reduce work-related fatigue.

5. Banish boredom and boost energy: Feeling uninspired by your work can drain your energy. The book highlights the importance of finding ways to make your work interesting, even if it means a mindset shift.

6. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude: Recognizing and appreciating the good things in your life can significantly improve your overall happiness and outlook.

7. Turn criticism into a learning opportunity: Don't let criticism discourage you. Learn from it, adjust your approach if needed, and move forward with confidence.

8. Build strong relationships by understanding others: People crave appreciation and validation. The book emphasizes sincerely acknowledging others' needs and perspectives to build stronger connections.

9. Influence others by appealing to their self-interest: People are naturally drawn to those who understand their wants and needs. By focusing on their perspective, you can gain their trust and cooperation more easily.

10. Deliver criticism constructively to avoid resentment: Harsh criticism rarely leads to positive change. The book suggests offering feedback indirectly and with empathy, focusing on solutions rather than blame.

QHB's Selected Book Quotes and Summaries

*** DC = Dale Carnegie (The Author)

=== PART ONE: SEVEN WAYS TO PEACE AND HAPPINESS ===

=== Chapter 1: Find Yourself and Be Yourself: Remember, there is no one else on Earth like you ===

# “The biggest mistake people make when applying for jobs is in not being themselves. Instead of taking their hair down and being completely frank, they often try to give answers they think you want.” - Paul Boynton

# “You are something new in this world. Be glad of it. Make the most of what nature gave you.” - DC

=== Chapter 2: Four Good Working Habits that will help prevent worry and fatigue ===

# “A person with his desk piled high with papers on various matters will find his work much easier and more accurate if he clears that desk of all but the immediate problem at hand.” - Roland L. Williams

# “I know from long experience that one is not always able to do things in the order of their importance, but I also know that some kind of plan to do first things first is infinitely better then extemporizing as you go along. - DC

=== Chapter 3: What makes you tired - and what can you do about it ===

# “The greater part of fatigue from which we suffer is of mental origin; in fact exhaustion of purely physical origin is rare.” - J. A. Hadfield

=== Chapter 4: How to Banish Boredom thy produces Fatigue, Worry and Resentment ===

# “We rarely get tired when we are doing something interesting and exciting.” - DC

# “Boredom is the only real cause of diminution of work.” - Dr Edward Thorndike

# “He told me that there was only one quality that pulled him through: his determination to make the job interesting.” - DC

# “By thinking of the right thoughts, you can make any job leas distasteful. … let’s forget about what the boss wants. Think only of what getting interested in your job will do for you.” - DC

=== Chapter 5: Would you take a Million Dollars for what you have? ===

# “ ‘Think and Thank. Think of all we have to be grateful for, and thank God for all our boons and bounties.” - Words of Cromwellian Churched

# “There are two things to aim at life: first, get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.” - Logan Pearsall Smith

=== Chapter 6: Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog ===

# “Many people get a sense of savage satisfaction out of denouncing those who are better educated than they are or more successful.” - DC

=== Chapter 7: Do this - And a Criticism can’t hurt you ===

# “I discovered years ago that although I couldn’t keep people from criticizing me unjustly, I could do something infinitely more important: I could determine whether I would let the unjust condemnation disturb me.” - DC

# “The 3 essences of an attractive man is he is comfortable in his own skin, he knows where he is going and he has fun while he is going there.” - Dr Robert Glover

=== PART TWO ===

=== Chapter 8: ‘If you want to gather Honey, Don’t kick over the Beehive ===

# “As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.” - Hans Selye

# “There you are; human nature in action, wrongdoers, blaming everyone but themselves.” - DC

# “A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.” - Carlyle

# “Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.” - DC

# “Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.” - DC

=== Chapter 9: The Big Secret of Dealing with People ===

# “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” - William James

# “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people is the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.” - DC

# “The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere.” - DC

# “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” - Emerson

=== Chapter 10: ‘He who can do this Has Whole World with him. He who cannot, walks a lonely way. ===

# “The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.” - DC

# “Every act you have performed since the day you were born was performed because you wanted something”. - DC

# “Tomorrow you may want to pursue somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: “How can I make this person want to do it?” - DC

# “Mind you, I got this reduction without saying a word about what I wanted. I talked all the time about what the other person wanted and how he could get it.” - DC

# “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own.” - Henry Ford

# “Mrs. Anderson did not state what she wanted, but wrote in the letter how she could help them, and focused on their wants, not her own.” - DC

# “The world is full of people who are grabbing and self seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage.” - DC

# “People who can put themselves in places of other people, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them.” - Owen D. Young

# “If out of reading this book you get just one thing - an increased tendency to think always on terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career.” - DC

# “Remember: “First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.” - DC

=== Chapter 11: Do this, and you’ll be welcome Anywhere ===

# “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” - DC

=== Chapter 12: How to make people like you instantly ===

# “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” - John Dewey

# “Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours” - Disraeli

=== PART THREE: WAYS TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR THINKING ===

=== Chapter 13: A Sure Way of making Enemies - And how to avoid it ===

# “If you’re going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel you are doing it.” - DC

# “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it himself.” - Galileo

# “I judge people by their own principles - not by my own.” - Martin Luther King Jr

# “Be diplomatic, it will help you gain your point.” - Pharaoh Akhtoi

=== Chapter 14: The High Road to Reason ===

# “So with men, if you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.” - Abraham Lincoln

=== Chapter 15: The Secret of Socrates ===

# “It took me years and cost me countless thousands of dollars in lost business before I finally learned that it doesn’t pay to argue, that it is much profitable and much more interesting to look at things from the other person’s viewpoint and try to get that person saying Yes.” - Joseph Allison

# “The Socratic Method … He asked questions with which his opponents would have to agree.” - DC

=== Chapter 16: How to get Cooperation ===

# “No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold something or told to do a thing. We prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas.” - DC

=== Chapter 17: An Appeal that everybody likes ===

# “I am convinced that the individuals who are inclined to chisel will in most cases react favorably if you make them feel that you consider them honest, upright and fair.” - DC

=== PART FOUR ===

=== Chapter 18: How to Criticize - And not be Hated for it ===

# “Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word “but”. He might then question the sincerity of the original praise. … This could be easily overcome by changing the word “but” to “and”. “ - DC

# “Calling attention indirectly to someone’s mistake works wonders with sensitive people who may resent bitterly any direct criticism.” - DC

=== Chapter 19: Talk about your own Mistakes First ===

# “He did the next best thing. He praised after he had criticized. And it worker a miracle.” - DC

# “Admitting one’s own mistakes - even when one hasn’t corrected them - can help convince somebody to change his or her behavior.” - DC

=== Chapter 20: No One Likes to Take Orders ===

# “Now that student was wrong. The car should have not been parked there. But from that day on, not only did that student resent the instructors action, but all the students in the class did everything they could to give the instructor a hard time and make his job unpleasant. How could he have handled it differently? If he had asked in a friendly way “Whose car is in the driveway? And then suggested that if it were mover, other cars could get in and out, the students would have gladly moved it and neither he nor his classmates would have been upset and resentful.” - DC

=== Chapter 21: Let the Other Person Save Face ===

# “I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.” - Antoine de Saint Exupery

=== END OF BOOK ===